I am so ahead of the curve when it comes to you earthlings. I often predict things centuries before they happen. But I must admit in the case of those monster truck games for kids’ entertainment, I must tip my antennae to my old friend Nero.
Nero, for those who were texting during history class (or for those who were doing the prehistoric version of passing notes), was a Roman emperor. I found him to be a ruthless and autocratic ruler, in other words an all-around-nice-guy. He often dispensed just the sort of “tough love” that is often good for you earthlings. Anyway, we were talking about things in general when we had this memorable exchange:
I do have a superior mind, but even I couldn’t believe that Nero’s vision would actually come to pass. But live and learn I always say. My old pal Nero had knew what makes you earthlings tick.
Now that we have established the reality of monster truck shows, there is the inevitable development of video games imitating the real thing. The minute you earthlings conceive of something you have to “virtualize it”, a creepy disease to be sure.
So, in honor of my old friend Nero, I decided to try one of those monster truck games for kids. Believe me, when you have a flying saucer monster trucks seem a bit tame. Nonetheless, in order to understand the obsessively destructive human mind, I thought a little time behind the controls of a computer would be worthwhile.
I settled on the Hotwheels’ Monster Jam Destruction for my initiation into monster truckdom. First, I decided to choose my vehicle. Unfortunately, I am given only one choice for my mission of destruction. And an ungainly one at that. Your monster trucks are really quite clumsy things when compared to my sleek and elegant flying saucer.
OK, so I move on to the game. This is where it gets fun. I press the right arrow as hard as I can and away goes my virtual monster truck. I crash through mailboxes. I crash through orange construction barrels. I crash through golf carts. Virtual destruction at every turn! I would have destroyed even more if some inconsiderate person hadn’t park trailer trucks with 45 degree inclines that magically propel me up in the air. Even virtual earthlings are thoughtless!
But I soon realized that this was by design. By propelling my virtual monster truck up in the air, my destruction can occur on a different level. It seems destruction on the ground is not enough; destruction must take place in the air as well. And having a ground vehicle actually perform “air destruction” appears to be some sort of novelty for the human mind.
By using the space bar that makes you jump, I smashed into innocent blimps minding their own business. I briefly wondered: what is the virtual back-story of all those unseen virtual people on that blimp? Their virtual dreams? Their virtual hopes? Would one of those virtual people find a virtual cure for cancer in their virtual monster-truck-overridden universe? Then I stopped wondering and took out another blimp.
All in all, this is a good game that delivers monster truck fun. It’s easy to start and no doubt will offer more challenge at higher levels. So stay virtual; we don’t need any real monster trucks smashing into real blimps.