You know, I always had limited respect for the Homo sapiens that seem to populate the internet. Believe me, just the comments left behind on blogs are enough to condemn the species. (Is spell check banned from blog comment sections? Just asking.)
But a new low comes into play when one searches for “Funny gifts for Men” on Google. Go ahead, do a search. I’ll wait…
Back so soon? Had enough? Can you say “scatological”?
What a grim tour through this very low common denominator of humanity! I, very much the male, see no utility in drinking from a coffee cup shaped like a toilet or carrying around synthetic excrement in a can. I’m positive if there were something funny in such things, my scintillating intellect would certainly let me know and I would grant you the privilege of a hearty guffaw. So since I have something called “taste”, I will filter out the dross and seek out for you some tamer funny gifts for men.
Tamer Funny Gifts for Men
First, unlike earthlings, I am not at all shy about self promotion. After all, I am superior and the longer you are in my presence, the better for you! So if you want a funny gift—and not just for men—get the book starring moi: The Lunar Antics Presents: Boy, I’d Hate To Be Made Out Of That Stuff! Great deals can be found on Amazon.
And how about this for fun, a runaway alarm clock? I am not a morning person (or frankly any other kind of person since I am a cartoon) and I have real difficulty waking up. You know, the alarm goes off and you hit the “snooze” button and before you know it you’ve missed your appointment on Alpha Centauri. (By the way, doesn’t the snooze button undermine the whole concept of an alarm clock? Do alarm clock makers have a sinister reason for you to miss your appointments? Inquiring minds and all that.)
But with this baby here, the alarm clock won’t sit still. When the clock goes off, it’s off to the races since you have to chase the clock to turn it off. And of course with all that running, you are now wide awake and ready to do the carpe diem thing. I also have a moving alarm clock but it uses little jets instead and that pesky thing really moves. My mornings are now quite eventful.
This car dashboard mounted “monster” pictured at the left seems to amuse males of your species as it bobbles up and down. What’s odd to me is that this thing looks like my cousin Jed who is on vacation in some alternate universe or other. I always told him he should model. Apparently he did. Good for cousin Jed.
Last but not least is the instant excuse ball. It’s like the Magic Eight Ball that purportedly tells you the future, but instead comes up with excuses such as jury duty or the dog ate it. Humans have reported this as a fun ice breaker at parties or a conversation piece at work. Of course you have no excuse for being earthlings so don’t look for one in this gadget.
That’s it, time to go. It’s time to make my excuse and depart. Let’s check the excuse ball. Ah yes, abducted by aliens. Very fitting. Bye.