Author Archives: admin

Answering machine voice messages for today

Ah, the answering machine: what a delightfully quaint device for one’s greetings. I remember how amazed you earthlings were when they first came out. “Just think,” you collectively said, “we don’t have to interrupt our precious TV viewing[1]. We can … Continue reading

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Phone Message Greetings You May Like

As you can plainly see, I have antennae which are used for phone calls. Since all of my communications gear is organic, it is very efficient. And one of those biological elements is in charge of voicemail. The beauty of … Continue reading

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30th Birthday Cards I Like

Thirty was so strange for me. I’ve really had to come to terms with the fact that I am now a walking and talking adult. — C. S. Lewis “You can’t trust anyone over thirty.” We’ve all heard that one, … Continue reading

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21st Birthday Cards Reviewed

The twenty-first birthday seems to be quite an event. In fact, a certain molecule is now very important to these young earthling adults: Recognize it Mr. 21 year old? It is now legal for you to place significant quantities of … Continue reading

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1st Birthday Wishes

It’s been so long since I was one year old. I am after all 2 billion years old. You could say my birthday past is the combination of epochal and geological and glacial ages. I feel old just thinking about … Continue reading

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Funny Gifts for Men

You know, I always had limited respect for the Homo sapiens that seem to populate the internet. Believe me, just the comments left behind on blogs are enough to condemn the species. (Is spell check banned from blog comment sections? … Continue reading

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Funny Birthday Wishes for Friends

I don’t have friends: I have colleagues. Possessing a superior mind is a by definition a lonely existence. I mean, who can understand what I am going through since I function at a much higher level than everyone else? (And … Continue reading

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What Music Was Played in Family Guy’s Episode “Brian’s Play”?

That, dear earthling, was Mozart’s Symphony #29, K. 201, the extremely effective accompaniment to Brian’s increasing agitation as he absorbs the genius of Stewie’s play. The autograph score resides in New York City’s Pierpont Morgan Library, an interesting coincidence since … Continue reading

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Moving Clip Art and No, I’m Not Jealous

One of my disappointments in life is that I don’t move. I’ve been after Walters to get me to move, but as always he claims to have other “priorities.” So when it came to my attention that clip art can … Continue reading

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Windows Clip Art, Clip Art for Mac and Even Google Clip Art

Having antennae, I’m always connected to a wireless connection somewhere. You say that the vast majority are password protected and can’t be used? And I say, give me a break (Odd expression. There’s nothing I want in my body broken…). … Continue reading

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