As I peruse your little tedious Internet, I keep seeing About Me pages on all your earthling websites. About me, About me, About me! How misguided you earthlings are! Actually thinking that there is anything worthy of you to be about.
Clearly you are unaware that it’s all about me. Yes, you read right: I have the monopoly on aboutness. In fact, I have a mathematical proof (well beyond your ken) that puts it clearly in binary 0′s and 1′s. The proof is below in panel three; you’ll have to squint a bit to read it:
Hear that pathetic sound? That’s the sound of your earthling minds imploding trying to figure out my hyper-advanced mathematical prowess. Had enough? I thought so.
Having just readily demonstrated my uncontested aboutness, don’t you think it’s a good idea to keep checking in on my posts? Since it’s all about me (and it really is!), it would serve you well to see what I have to say. That way you might stand a chance in figuring out what is actually going on in our universe*.
So read on, earthling. Bask in the glory of my aboutness!
*I shudder every time I realize think that we actually share this universe, but what is one going to do?