1st Birthday Wishes

It’s been so long since I was one year old. I am after all 2 billion years old. You could say my birthday past is the combination of epochal and geological and glacial ages. I feel old just thinking about it as no doubt you do plodding through all those adjectives. Suffice it to say it has been a long time since I heard any 1st birthday wishes directed my way.

But here on Earth, there are some very new earthlings who just completed their first journey around the sun. Granted it’s a lot easier on planet Earth than on a sputtering flying saucer (badly needs a tune-up), but I congratulate the little tykes anyway. After all, they spent most of that trip in a crib which is not very conducive for traveling long distances.

An earthling at one is at the beginning of his or her intellectual development: the creature just sits there and has a grand old time just taking it all in. So of course the first year birthday party is really for the adults. Sure the baby gets lots of attention and love (working on that concept…), but any wishes of any philosophical flavor will fly over the baby’s head like a jar of baby food launched in an infantile fit of pique.

Some 1st Birthday[1] Wish Examples

So I reviewed your earthling literature and found some wise sayings that you adults should absorb for the occasion. After all, the first trip around the sun is quite an event:

A baby is God’s opinion that life should go on. — Carl Sandburg

We’re all born bald, baby. — Telly Savalas

When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half. — Gracie Allen

Having a baby dragged me kicking and screaming from the world of self-absorption. — Paul Reiser

I think, at a child’s birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity. — Eleanor Roosevelt

Every year on your birthday, you get a chance to start new. — Sammy Hager

It was on my fifth birthday that Papa put his hand on my shoulder and said, “Remember, my son, if you ever need a helping hand, you’ll find one at the end of your arm.” — Sam Levenson

I only know I was born on March 5th because someone told me. I don’t remember myself. So it’s fact based on secondhand information and trust. — Jarod Kintz

I was nine minutes late for my last birthday party. And I was nine months on time for my first birthday. — Jarod Kintz

Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang Happy Birthday[2]. — Stephen Wright

My Two Cents

In closing, let me leave birthday wish from me[3]:

Take it from someone like me: being on planet Earth is a blast. I wish you many happy returns, little one!


[1] The first birthday could be when you were born or when you are one, depending how you look at it. I found quotes for both occasions.

[2] This isn’t about a first birthday but I had to throw that in!

[3] But don’t tell the others I said something nice about Earth—I have a reputation to uphold!


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